I don't live particularly near Derwent Chapel. I looked on Google Maps. 42 miles away.
Now, I have been known to drive for maybe, 20, 30 miles looking for sex in chapels. But I draw the line at 40.
More worryingly, does this mean that all the pop-up ads that begin "Women looking for sex in ..." are also fake?
And what about those late-night adverts depicting women giggling as they recieve texts from men? Is it possible that that has never happened?
What if no one's having sex anywhere and it's one of those playground rumours that got out of hand?
Maybe I should go to Derwent Chapel. Just to make sure.
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